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Google Bollocks: their seminal new product

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Spectacles, Testicles, Wallet and Watch.

We think of it as the tongue-in-cheek mnemonic for recalling the sign of the cross. But is this all that it signifies?

I think not.

It's become clear to me that infamous technophile, Pope Francis, has leveraged his position as head of the Catholic church to inflect the product roadmap of everyone's favourite search behemoth: Google.

Let's look at news around recent product launches for Google:

  • Google Glass: spectacles
  • ???
  • Google Wallet: wallet
  • Android Wear: watch

Can you see what's missing?

From these cold hard facts, the only conclusion I can possibly draw is that Google, in partnership with the Holy See, is planning some sort of hi-tech bollocks, almost certainly available in red, yellow and blue to follow Google's brand personality.

The user experience can only be guessed at, but this writer hopes for increased pain tolerance and Bluetooth LE support.

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